1.

          Megan Phelps-Roper is a young legal assistant who was raised in the Westboro Baptist Church, a strict religious organization that preaches hatred towards those of different beliefs and sexualities. This organization, known for picketing military and gay men’s funerals, operates by spreading their “warnings” against ungodly actions. Taught by her mother and high authoritative figure of the church, Shirley Phelps, Megan Phelps-Roper learned the importance of obedience, joy in submitting her will to god, and to celebrate horrible tragedies such as death or terrorist attacks. As the granddaughter of Fred Phelps, the founder of the church, Phelps-Roper dedicated her life to spreading these hateful messages and mastering the Bible and its teachings

          Through a forum on the Westboro church’s website, Phelps-Roper learned of a rising social media platform, Twitter. Soon began a close relationship between the social media site and Phelps-Roper, as she spread the church’s anti-gay and anti-Jew messages through her tweets and follower interactions. Phelps-Roper stated* that her engrossment in Twitter stemmed from the fact that, “[It] seemed more real than a quote in a newspaper… [and that] It’s proof that people are seeing it and reacting to it,” (Chen). As her platform grew, Phelps-Roper soon came in contact with many different people through the site, even growing to be friends with some of whom she met. Blogger David Abitbol and an anonymous user named C.G. made profound effects on Phelps-Roper’s life, allowing her to see what others thought of her ideology and gave her a space for debate. Eventually, their words lead her to question why her church only focused on punishment and often contradicted the words of the Bible; These thoughts, which threatened her faith, caused Phelps-Roper to drop all contact as she attempted to “rededicate” herself back to the church. However, when she fully engrossed herself within the church again, Phelps-Roper learned of all the changes this increased media presence caused. Most notably, Phelps-Roper’s mother was stripped of most of her power in the church and leadership was now solely on a council of male “elders”. Additionally, new restrictions on dress codes and freedoms for women in the church were put in place. In Phelps-Roper’s view, her church, “…stopped feeling like this larger-than-life divine institution ordained and led by God, and more like the sniping and sordid activity of men who wanted to be in control,” (Chen). 

          Soon, her resentment for the church grew to a point of no return, as Phelps-Roper started to see how the parallels between the love preached in the bible and her church’s actions did not line up. After much debate with her younger sister Grace, Megan Phelps-Roper and Grace both decided to leave the church, and their family, behind. Exposed by a friend in the congregation, their plan to leave was rushed as Phelps-Roper and Grace said their goodbyes to their family. Many crises in faith followed for the next few months as the two women healed from their trauma caused by the church. As Phelps-Roper continued to push herself and challenge the intolerance she grew up with, she reconnected with Abitbol and C.G., rekindling those friendships and healing in the process. While Phelps-Roper admits to missing her family, her choice to leave was ultimately the best one she could’ve made.

2.

          Social media gave Megan Phelps-Roper a platform to share her extremist ideals, a place where everyone who saw it and interacted with it, boosted the notability of the church in some way. When people interacted with her Twitter page, Phelps-Roper was further motivated to continue spreading her ideas, empowering her in the process. In the article Unfollowing, Adrian Chen asserts that, “Phelps-Roper spearheaded Westboro’s push into the social media age, using Twitter to offer a window into life in the church and giving it an air of accessibility,” (Chen). In making this comment, Chen explains that Twitter was a major development for the church, especially in making it’s messages more easily accessible to a wide variety of people. Through these people she reached through social media, Phelps-Roper met and befriended many of them with her witty and sometimes concerned responses. Social media also influenced Phelps-Roper’s change in ideology by exposing her to a variety of perspectives on issues she raised. David Abitbol and C.G., two twitter users who got particularly in her head, debated and held many conversations with Phelps-Roper, some of which led her to worry that, “…[she would be] seduced away from the truth by a crafty deceiver,” (Chen). Phelps-Roper herself stated that, “…disparity between her reaction and that of the rest of the church [was] a sign that something was wrong with her.” (Chen). This shows how Phelps-Roper, due to her time talking with others on social media, began to see how others felt about what she posted and what her church was supporting, and these extra viewpoints were the inciting incident in her drastic ideological shift.

3.

          David Abitbol, a major player and Phelps-Roper’s ideological change and eventual exit from the church, explains in Unfollowing that relating to hateful people on a human level is the best way to get through to them. Using a mindset of being kind and befriending the person when interacting with someone who employs a certain form of hate speech serves to humanize the group you are defending. The approach doesn’t belittle either member of a conversation, but rather looks at differences as differences that can be discussed in a civil manner. Being really nice to a person with different opinions forces them to see things in a way that connects your humanity and kindness to the way they should see your argument. Phelps-Roper’s story can teach us a lot about confronting hate speech, primarily that an aggressive approach to already hateful ideas is not a solution, but rather fuels the hatred being expressed; When Phelps-Roper received hateful messages, they just served as fuel to her, making her feel above others and in a position of power. Employing a kind tone makes a world of difference when trying to get through to someone, as an interaction can feel less like a battle, and more like a healthy debate. 

          This story teaches the reader a lot about how hard, but fulfilling, the journey to redemption is. Phelps-Roper spent months just trying to break out of her indoctrinated mental set of fear and hatred for others. She pushed herself to speak at events with those who saw things differently, experience places and cultures that she used to reject, and overall flip her mentality over and start over. This article also asserts that even though she made many heinous mistakes and choices, Phelps-Roper still was met with a world of compassion and forgiveness; It teaches us that there can always be a way to redeem yourself, but you need to put in the work to do so.

4.

         I would like to ask Phelps-Roper if she ever regrets her choices in the past and whether her leaving served to alleviate some of those regrets. By the end of the article, the only regrets that Phelps-Roper mentions is how she misses her family, though this leaves me curious on  whether she feels bad to have left the church without trying to dismantle it or “save” more of her family from it. She has spent years atoning for the mistakes of her child and young-adulthood, but I wonder if she still feels like she could’ve done more to stop the church’s actions and hate. I want to ask her this because I would like to know how she feels looking back at the church several years later. Getting this perspective could help me understand why organizations like this still exist despite their harmful messages.

*Highlighted sections are templates from They Say, I Say

MLA Citation:

Chen, Adrian. “Unfollow.” The New Yorker, 16 Nov. 2015, https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/11/23/conversion-via-twitter-westboro-baptist-church-megan-phelps-roper.