Mya, 

I really liked your story! This is the story of a diner waitress who dreams of exploring more of what the world has to offer. I loved the imagery in the diner scene itself. I also loved the character of Hal, and the description of him and the waitress’ routine. I had a very clear picture of them and their interactions and I was really invested to hear what he had to tell her. I thought the stranger was interesting but wasn’t as attached to him as I was to Hal. There were some places where I think you could explore how you could show the character’s life rather than just tell it (like when they say they don’t know how to do change or that they’re afraid to leave this town). I was a little confused whether the main character wanted to leave and see the world or was happy with no change, but she feels very resolute by the end of the story. For a while I thought it was 2:15 in the afternoon, not in the morning, so I was a little confused for a second but eventually I figured it out. I like the way you ended the story, it leaves a lot for the reader to assume but not so much that it’s unfathomable. Great work!!

Cammy,

Great work on this story! This story is about a college student named April who lets her partner Greyson take the fall for her DUI and accidental homicide. I loved the themes you explored in this story of guilt and trying your best to abide by someone’s wishes (Greyson wanted to take the fall but was it the right thing to do?). I liked the way that you described Greyson during the visit. His condition felt very realistic and the interaction, while short, did what it needed to to progress the story. The section outlining her fight to keep herself able to graduate made the narrator much more relatable/likable to me in a story where I struggled to like her very much. I struggled to accept the ending a bit since she didn’t turn herself in before, and it took another person dying for her to fess up to her actions, which left a sour taste in my mouth for the narrator. I think there are some opportunities to show the pain, guilt, and other emotions the narrator is feeling rather than outright stating them. Maybe there’s also opportunities to show where the narrator has been dishonest in the past or her hesitancy with accepting consequences.