Malachi,

This is the story of a man escaping his family, and finding a new one, by working on a fishing boat. I thought this story was really gripping, and I really enjoyed particularly the imagery of the boat and the work that was conducted on it. I loved the perspective of this story. It worked really well to me, especially considering the end and the internal struggles of the greenhorn’s both guilt and regret for leaving, but affirmation that it was for the best. As for a recommendation, I wanted more on the parents, or at least why the main character wanted to leave home other than scuffles with their parents. Is there something more serious than nagging that pushed them away from home? A question I had was: what time period is this story set in? There’s a coast guard so it must be more modern, but the whole time I was picturing an old galleon or large fishing boat. Maybe there’s opportunities to expand more on the technology or material of the boat? I really enjoyed the living and breathing nature of the setting of this story, and you worked with it masterfully! Great work Malachi!

Kassidy,

I really loved this story! It was so lighthearted but also so saddening to read. I really loved the ending, it just left me with such a big smile on my face! The perspective of this story was super intriguing to me, as I haven’t read a story from the perspective of a dog before. I thought you did it pretty effectively, though there were a few times when I couldn’t tell the level of intelligence of the dog. He knew what the concept of 10 was, but couldn’t read English words, which made me a bit confused at his level of knowledge. I thought the beginning was a little confusing until I reached the point where the narrator was clearly revealed as a dog. I think the setting in the kennel was well described and I could really picture the dreariness of it. I really liked the choices of what memories of home were included and I felt the characters of the humans we also well developed. Another place of confusion for me was the appearance of Rocky. There was a description of his appearance pretty consistently since his introduction, but I still struggled to make a mental image of him. Overall, this story worked really well for me and I enjoyed it!