Before:

          A good friend is someone who listens, laughs, and shares with you. They help you with advice and donate their time to you for fun or to help you. Of course this is a two way street, but a good friend never keeps track of who does more for the other. Myself and Konnikova agree that in person connections are often very strong and rooted in shared experiences, however, I disagree with her notion that friends made on an online space are inherently weaker bonds. Konnikova’s statement, “So what happens if you’re raised from a young age to see virtual interactions as akin to physical ones?” feels like a leap in logic to me. Children are not able to fully connect with others online from a young age, while the shared use of the online can be seen as a connector. There is still a major difference in formative years between online and in person relationships, speaking from my own experience as a child who grew up surrounded by the internet. Being raised from a young age to see online interactions as the same as physical ones could be damaging, though the use of the internet could be a helpful tool to maintain and make friendships.

After:

          A good friend is someone who listens, laughs, and shares with you; They offer help, advice, and donate their time to shared activities and interests. Myself and Konnikova agree that in person connections are often very strong and rooted in shared experiences, however, I disagree with her notion that friendships made through an online space are inherently weaker. Konnikova’s statement, “So what happens if you’re raised from a young age to see virtual interactions as akin to physical ones?” feels like a leap in logic to me (Konnikova). Children are not able to fully connect with others online from a young age. While the shared use of online media can be seen as a connector, there is still a major difference between online and in person relationships. As a child, your main relationships come from in person interactions, such as those with parents and peers. Throughout the years however, it is physically impossible to keep close relationships with everyone you meet, making online interaction much more valuable. Being raised from a young age to see online interactions as the same as physical ones could be damaging, though the use of the internet could be a helpful tool to maintain and make friendships.

MLA Citation

Konnikova, Maria. “The Limits of Friendship.” The New Yorker, 7 Oct. 2014, https://www.newyorker.com/science/maria-konnikova/social-media-affect-math-dunbar-number-friendships. 

Revision Debrief:

          In order to improve my response to the Konnikova Reading, I read through my original paragraph with specificity in mind. I noticed a few sentences that could use some different wording or order of phrases, so some sentence format changed. I also went through and cut/added sentences or words where I thought weaker points were in order to make my argument more fluid and strong. Overall, my paragraph got slightly longer, but the extra space used to be clearer in my ideas. I wanted to emphasize my points rather than making the reader confused with too many words and over-analysis. My improved paragraph feels stronger in its argument and the final sentence ties it all together in a much stronger way, therefore, I think this exercise really helped me reflect on my writing.