Rachel,

I loved the complex relationships between the characters in your story! Lovette and her sisters are in a precarious position that makes it hard to foster a stable relationship. The relationship between Linus and Evelyn was also intriguing, though the character of Linus itself was very grabbing to me. The way you characterize your characters is really well done. The descriptions of the step-mother were particularly resonant to me, particularly the sections on how she is dressed, the way she lies, and the way the narrator thinks of her. I know this is a continuation of the previous story we read and I thought that really added to my experience of reading it, though I found myself wondering if this story could stand alone without the knowledge of the other. I also found myself being pulled out of the story because of my confusion with time period. Why is there a carriage but people walking on the street with smartphones? Then they get in the car; Is the car the same as the carriage? I think more clarity on year or some more anchoring details can set us up in a more solid temporal space.

Malachi,

This story is so profound yet so tragic. I loved the dialogue in this story. It does a lot of the heavy lifting in terms of showing the main character’s struggle to maintain his mind as well as his difficulties with speech. The interactions between the father and daughters are heartbreaking but also so heartwarming. Showing how the daughters are doing their best to contribute to their father’s life and keep him grounded in his life while it’s slipping from him was really well done. I loved the floral descriptions and the colors. The images were really vivid to me. As for a suggestion, I found myself a bit confused about what was going on at times. Particularly when the narrator thought he was trapped somewhere. Was he just in his house but couldn’t recognize it? I think this works as is, I just felt a little lost. I wanted a little more at the end, it felt a little abrupt. There’s also an argument to be made that this works for the overall feel of the story, so I think you could also keep it as is!