I think this chapter set me up really well to understand both what is important to think of while revising, but also to understand that first drafts are just the beginning of a piece’s life. I think the quote on the first page of this chapter, “First drafts should suck,” helped me feel much better about my perceived quality of my drafts. It reminded me of the section on theme we read a long time ago, where the author mentioned…
Coco, I really liked the almost visceral descriptions of wolves eating meat off of bones. They reminded me of the feelings of erosion one might feel from being around someone like the mother in this story who demands so much while giving very little. Your writing is so lyrical and so poetic, it’s really interesting to read this piece. The overall thread throughout of the wolf vs. dog was really intriguing to me and helped to characterize the people in…
Brady, I really liked the dialogue you included. It flowed really naturally and felt like a real conversation. The dynamic between the grouchy giant and the hyper-active/curious human was a really interesting one to me. The lore of the world that you build in just a few short pages was really in depth and made sense. There could be an opportunity to show us more of Helgan’s outlook on the world rather than telling us. I felt like the image…
Cammy, This story got me so emotional! I was so moved by the character’s story of being someone so connected to their movement having that stripped away. I’ve seen similar stories to this happen in real life to my family members, and I feel like you got the hopelessness and the impact of kindness and patience down exactly as I’ve seen it happen before. I really liked the Dr. Reed character; He was a really likable character and served as…
Mackie, This story was really thought provoking to me! I was really invested in the main character’s internal conflict. I felt like there could be an opportunity to expand the conflict by showing why Cooper doesn’t want to commit. Maybe his friends make fun of his connection with Gemma, or he has a girlfriend back home that he doesn’t want to break up with. I think exploring Cooper’s apprehension could make this story even more intriguing. I really liked the…
Rachel, I loved the complex relationships between the characters in your story! Lovette and her sisters are in a precarious position that makes it hard to foster a stable relationship. The relationship between Linus and Evelyn was also intriguing, though the character of Linus itself was very grabbing to me. The way you characterize your characters is really well done. The descriptions of the step-mother were particularly resonant to me, particularly the sections on how she is dressed, the way…
I haven’t written fiction in a really long time, but it has been such a fun challenge for me to step back into it. I really resonated with all the discussions we had in class about raising the stakes and tension, making complicated characters, and making settings feel like real places. In my own writing, I am eager to take my peer’s feedback and adapt it to make something new and better than my original drafts for both my first…
Coco, This was such a gripping read; Once I picked it up to read, I didn’t want to put it down. There was a lot I loved about your piece, but the metaphors and tone by far were really strong to me. I loved the way that the narrator spoke about Tatiana and their brief relationship. I could feel the desperation at the end of each passage. The tension felt consistent and well balanced throughout. I did find myself wondering…
Malachi, This is the story of a man escaping his family, and finding a new one, by working on a fishing boat. I thought this story was really gripping, and I really enjoyed particularly the imagery of the boat and the work that was conducted on it. I loved the perspective of this story. It worked really well to me, especially considering the end and the internal struggles of the greenhorn’s both guilt and regret for leaving, but affirmation that…
Mya, I really liked your story! This is the story of a diner waitress who dreams of exploring more of what the world has to offer. I loved the imagery in the diner scene itself. I also loved the character of Hal, and the description of him and the waitress’ routine. I had a very clear picture of them and their interactions and I was really invested to hear what he had to tell her. I thought the stranger was…
